If anyone understands what truly shapes a wedding day, it’s the professionals working quietly behind the scenes - building timelines, shaping experiences, smoothing stress, and crafting moments that couples remember long after the last dance. With years of experience guiding couples on one of life’s most meaningful celebrations, these experts were asked to reflect on what they would do differently if they were planning their own weddings, what they’d prioritize most intentionally, and the advice they wish every couple knew from the very beginning. Their insights reveal a shared truth: the most unforgettable celebrations are not defined by perfection, but by purpose, presence, and intention.
Zero In on What Truly Matters
When expert planners reflect on their own weddings, one common theme emerges: focus less on pleasing outside voices and more on honoring what matters most to you as a couple.
“We’d be more intentional about tuning out outside opinions and focusing on what truly matters to us,” says Heather Balliet of Amorology. “Trusting yourself, and leaning into what your partner cares about but not requiring an opinion on things they aren’t passionate about, this allows the planning process to feel more enjoyable and stress free.”
Echoing that sentiment, Tiffany Ott of Events By Tiffany J shares how she would guard the emotional energy of the day more carefully. “I would be more protective of our guest list and overall energy,” she explains. “As planners, we’re trained to accommodate and optimize, but planning my own wedding has reminded me that intimacy and emotional connection matter more than optics. Every seat should feel intentional, not just filled out of obligation. We want to be surrounded by the people that matter the most to us.”
Design the Day for Experience, Not Just Aesthetics
Those working behind the camera and on the ground say the most enduring weddings are shaped by emotional experience, not just perfectly styled décor.
“If I were planning my own wedding, I would invest less energy into perfect details and more into creating emotional space,” says Anastasia Shevchenko of Sheff Production. “The weddings that truly stay with people are the ones where couples feel present, unrushed, and connected.”
She places special emphasis on the unplanned pauses. “I would intentionally build breathing room into the day,” she explains. “From behind the camera, the most powerful moments always happen in the pauses, not in a packed schedule.”
Slow moments matter just as much as stylish ones. Shelby Kenney of SK Events & Design says, “I’d prioritize taking a few minutes alone with my new husband right after the ceremony, just to soak it all in. That one quiet, private moment to connect before being surrounded by loved ones for the rest of the night.”
Simple Joie Photography
Hire the Right Team and Trust Them
Wedding pros are unanimous about this: the right team makes all the difference. And giving them space to do their best work is just as important as choosing them.
“Trust your planner and vendors, they can do their best work when given the confidence and creative freedom,” Heather Balliet advises. “When couples feel relaxed and confident in their team, that energy carries through the entire celebration.”
Ashley Monge of Monge Amore Events (M.A.E.) looks back and sees a missed opportunity: “We would absolutely hire a full-service wedding planner from the very beginning to help guide vendor selection, manage the budget, and keep decisions aligned from start to finish. Investing in the right planning support and establishing a clear vision upfront ultimately saves money, reduces stress, and avoids so many difficult conversations later on.”
Photography holds a special place in long-term memory. “If I were planning my own wedding again, I would be far more intentional about hiring a photographer,” reflects Joie Thongsavath of Simple Joie Photography. “Trends fade and guest “wow” moments come and go, but photographs are what allow you to relive your story long after the day has passed.”
Prioritize What You’ll Remember Most
Looking back, even seasoned professionals admit that the smallest choices can carry the greatest emotional weight. For Ashot Dumanyan of Enchanted Strings, ceremony music is one of them. “When my wife and I got married in a church, we went with the default live music option, the organist,” he shares. “As beautiful as it was, I sometimes wish we had made the ceremony more personal by choosing music that truly reflected our journey. Your walk down the aisle happens only once, so make it special with music that tells your love story.”
That same lens applies to the celebration as a whole. While trends may shape the visuals of a wedding, it is the experience that lingers. Tiffany Ott emphasizes designing the day around feeling rather than aesthetics alone. “From arrival to farewell, I’d prioritize how people feel, not just how it looks,” she says. “Seamless transitions, meaningful moments, great food, and a few thoughtful surprises will always matter more than any trend or over-styled detail.”
The Wisdom You Wish You Knew Earlier
Across every discipline, the advice is remarkably aligned: plan with intention, trust the professionals you hire, and release the pressure to make everything perfect. Jessica Nielsen of Evermór Events distills it down to what lasts longest. “My advice to every couple: choose meaning over momentum,” she says. “Those are the memories that last.”
That perspective is echoed by Tiffany Ott, who reminds couples that a wedding is not a performance or a benchmark. “Your wedding doesn’t have to prove anything,” Tiffany Ott shares. “It doesn’t need to be the biggest, the trendiest, or the most expensive to be meaningful. The most unforgettable weddings are the ones that feel honest to the couple. When you lead with that, every decision becomes easier.”
Zach and Dune Photography
Taken together, their reflections reveal a simple truth. The weddings that feel effortless are rarely accidental. They are shaped by clear priorities, trusted creative partners, and the freedom to focus on what truly matters. When couples let go of what they think they should do and lean into what feels genuine, the celebration becomes not just beautiful, but deeply meaningful.
Main photo by Mack and Pouya Photography courtesy of Monge Amore Events
